Marking Motherhood

As the baby sleeps,  mum gets to write. Last July, I wrote about our pregnancy in my blog post, Journey to Three. At that time, I was 16 weeks pregnant. Today, the 4th day of the new year 2016, I am officially a mom! Just being able to write that brings an overwhelming mix of emotions. Suddenly, the past years of our journey and the past months of our pregnancy flashes back in my mind. I remember this entry I wrote in my Daykeeper last year when I was setting goals for 2015. The planner had a part where you’ll write a letter to your future self at the end of the year and this was what I wrote. It’s amazing to see that it has come true despite being close to jaded at the time I wrote this.

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Looking back, we will always be forever grateful that we were finally blessed with what we’ve always wanted to have. It’s only been a week since Ken and I have become parents on the night of Dec. 27th and yet it feels like such a long time already. We’ve been swept away by the flurry of events from my 25-hour labor to the sudden change of lifestyle as new parents consisting of no sleep, non-stop feeding and diaper changes, that when I think about the last weeks of my pregnancy, I can’t believe it was just a couple of weeks ago.

Last Thursday, it was Christmas Eve and I was in my 38th week. I remember seeing how much my tummy has grown so big with painful marks and all, watching how our little one doesn’t seem so little anymore, how he makes my tummy wave and jiggle so much on its own with his every movement, every jab, every limb that pokes out of my skin, it’s just an amazingly beautiful experience. And now that he’s here, I can’t believe that this tiny little person has been in my tummy for the last 9 months. After everything that we’ve been through, there’s still a part of me that still can’t believe it.

I remember a few weeks before that, when I started packing my things and E’s things for the hospital, I just got so emotional that I started crying and praying thanks. When I was waiting and wishing for our pregnancy, there were a million things I’ve been looking forward to doing and packing a hospital bag just didn’t cross my mind. But a thing so trivial became so monumental to me — choosing his clothes, preparing his personalized tiny little things, etc, etc. It just made everything real and I just wanted to hug God at that very moment and thank Him over and over again for giving us this chance and making it real as we believed He would.

We wanted to be able to document this whole experience so we decided to have a maternity shoot. At first, I hesitated as we just really wanted it to be simple but most of those I inquired with are quite costly. Thankfully, we have friends who were game to help us! My sister’s friend, Grace, who styled us before for our pre-nup shoot with Metrophoto, and her photographer husband, Madz, who we also worked with for Early Bird Breakfast Club, gladly shot us in our home one Saturday. They just came over our place, Grace took a look inside my closet and together with Madz, they came out with an amazing maternity spread for us that we really didn’t expect and we are really so happy with!

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These pics were taken while I was 35 weeks pregnant. Looking back, now that the whole pregnancy is over and the real deal is here, I’m just so happy we had this shoot. It’s a nice way to cap off the entirety of our journey to becoming parents. What started out as a dark and challenging time for us ended beautifully, all in God’s time. And we’ll always have these photos to look back onto.

To Grace & Madz, thank you, thank you so much for this! You guys just don’t know how much this all means to me and Ken. To all who’ll get to read my post and who are looking for a talented couple to work with, I highly recommend them! They’re so easy to work with too! Their emails are grace.barrido@gmail.com and madzbarrido@gmail.com. My hair and makeup was done by another good friend, Yari who’s been doing my and my sister’s hair and makeup for any occasion. His number is 0998-2248248.

Thank you also to Gio who is our Brand Designer at Antidote. Despite the heavy workload, he gamely designed for me and Ken our son’s emblem for his room and personalized going home outfits as well as the quotes I chose for his room.

Thank you thank you so much guys! 🙂

I end this post with my favorite set of photos from our shoot taken at a nearby park.

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And to our dearest Elian, it’s only been a week together, my love. But the night of your birth changed our lives forever. I will always remember how I held my breath awaiting your first cry when they pulled you out of me and put you in my arms. How Dad and I cried with relief and happiness when we heard you belt it out. No amount of hardship or pain will ever measure to the happiness of having you. Awaiting your arrival has been one of the most joyous and fulfilling experience in our lives. I remember choosing your name the moment we found out we were having you. We wanted to have the most fitting name for you and our story. In the midst of reading, I discovered that Elian in Hebrew means “God has heard and answered”, in Latin it means “sun”, in Spanish “light” and in Welsh “a moment in time”. I don’t know which of this is true but for me and your dad, all of this was real with you. In one moment in time, you came to us like the sun that broke the darkest of our nights. Just when we were losing hope, you became our light and proved to us that God indeed hears and answers.

You will always be our lil answered prayer, our proof that all we really ever dreamed and hope for, does happen. All in God’s perfect time.

Love always,

Mom and Dad

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