Ellen!

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June 24, 2015 • 0

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It’s been more than a week but the bub still asks to go back. Different variations “Mama I can’t sleep I NEED to go back to Baguio” (during bedtime) then “Yay we’re going to Baguio!” (when he wakes up) then “Mommy I want to go back to the cold oootel”. This place, with all the trees, the horses, the mountains and the cold, has clearly imprinted on him. #DearestElian, don’t worry anak, someday we’ll move somewhere cold, have our own log cabin and live by the woods like the #Cullens 🤣 Dear Daddy @kendrickco please note for our #bucketlist #dreamhouse 🤣

My glass is always full with these two. 😍 New fave weekend destination discovered as we took the bub on his first trip to #Baguio. ✔️👪 Mommy loved the fresh air and scenery, baby loved the garden, horseback riding and quad biking while Daddy loved the breakfast buffet! 🤣🤣 weekend well spent! 💯 #familiaCo #kendrickellentravels #DearestElian #ElianExplores

Pajamin’ outdoors early in the morning is #mykindofjam. 🌿☁️🌿 there’s just something very comforting in waking up to a chilly foggy morning by the mountains with a beautiful view and the fresh scent of trees. Promising you only good things to come. 💙💚 Today, a new month starts. 🙏 #helloJuly

When #Khaleesi’s horse became #PinkyPie 💕🦄🤣🤣 #mylittlepony @ellamartelino this photo is for my pink princess, please show to Estelle! #pinkhorse #baguio #wanderlustellen

This morning’s cardio #quadbiking around the park with my heavy 2-year old on my lap 😅 #DearestElian #ElianExplores 💙

Foggy morning kisses 🌿💙🌿 #DearestElian

For moments I need to mend, I crave for quiet nature, fresh air and cool weather. This one always hits the spot perfectly. 💚💙 it’s just the first day but already wishing we can stay longer. 🌿🌲🍃🌿

Me and my forever koala bear 🐨 This spot, no matter how touristy, will always be a fave. Overlooking two of #Sydney’s most iconic sights 💙 One sunny day with my #DearestElian 😎 at our #happyplace 👩‍👦 #ElianExplores #wanderlustellen

My 🌞 on the cloudiest of days. Always. 💙 #DearestElian 👩‍👦

Today, I lost a heartbeat and it broke mine to a million pieces yet again. How does one be strong when you see your baby bigger and looking more like a baby but not moving and there’s no heartbeat? That moment you’re so scared to hear it on your own but you have no choice as you’re all by yourself. I could still remember hearing my baby’s loud and strong heartbeat last week and the previous weeks. What happened? How do I explain to Elian that he will no longer be able to meet who he calls “baby sibling” who he sings to and talks to every night, who he says to, “when you’re bigger we play together ha”. Tonight after coming home, Elian’s first question is Mama, how is your tummy? My heart aches as the pain from my lost angel back in 2013 comes flashing back. Raw pain that I don’t want to remember and go thru again, yet I have no choice. A loss, no matter how early, no matter the circumstance, no matter how others think can easily be replaced by just trying again, despite thinking of the silver lining that better it happened now, still is a painful loss, a heartache on its own. This baby came to us as a happy surprise, with no intention, yet meaningful just the same. And I write this today because I want to remember her still. When the feeling is so fresh and the pain so striking because both my angels, then and now deserve to be remembered. To know they were so very loved and cherished even in just the short time we were together. To my angel who left us today, Daddy and I are heartbroken but we will always carry your heart with us. Along with your other sibling in heaven. And to my #DearestElian, I’m sorry we have to go thru this. I’m sorry Mama lost your baby sibling. But know you now have 2 angels watching over you. To all who get to read this, please send a prayer for our lil family’s strength and healing and for all those who are silently grieving over a loss of any kind, multiple times. Let’s be kind to one another, because we don’t know what people are silently going through each day. I don’t normally post about very private things like this but hoping writing about this will help me accept and heal.

GOLD COAST 💙 remembering sunny days on this rainy dreary day. Some memorable things from this trip - receiving complimentary wine and chocolates as their anniversary gift for me and Ken, beautiful view from our window, biggest widest stretch of fine white sand and the yummiest steak I’ve ever had and it’s just room service steak! 👌🏻 Snippets of our side trip to #Queensland #Australia 🇦🇺 full video on my bio ✈️ . . . Mom’s home edits using📱to remember adventures with the bub! 🤗👪 #kendrickellentravels #ElianExplores #latepost #familytravel #havekidswilltravel

Pilipinas kong mahal 🇵🇭 // I often get asked if we ever have plans to migrate elsewhere. I love to travel and have a lot of dream cities to live in esp now with Elian when we want him to have the best experiences. We get sad when we travel and see what other kids enjoy for free — nice neighborhood parks, gardens, playgrounds, libraries and a lot more. Sometimes Ken and I would plan and dream of moving abroad even just for a year, to his dream city (SFO) or to mine (London, Sydney, or Melbourne where I have family) but at the end of the day we still choose home. 3rd world as we may be, with corrupt and crazy government, flooded streets, insane traffic, it’s still the place where our values are deeply rooted, where family will always be top priority, where childhood is spent with the love of doting grandparents, cousins, and the whole baranggay, where there’s beautiful sunsets and beaches, the home of sinigang (Elian’s ultimate fave) made with real sampaloc and not sachet mix, where there’s bagnet, sisig, halo halo and mais con hielo, where we are still trained to say po and opo, where even the poorest can still smile with pride. I’d still want to raise Elian every inch a Filipino, to have pride in his home country and when he’s old enough make meaningful significance to the world as Filipino ♥️💙 we’ll never get tired advocating to the world that yes, 3rd world as we may be, still #itsmorefuninthephilippines and there’s no place like home 🇵🇭 #June12 #randomthoughtswhilestuckinfloodedtrafficinManila #Filipinoandproud #travelgram #philippines #lascasas

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